BEATITUDES OF TEACHING
Then Jesus took his disciples up on the mountain and gathered them around him. And he
taught them, saying,
Blessed are the poor in spirit.
Blessed are the meek.
Blessed are the merciful.
Blessed are you who thirst for justice.
Blessed are you who are persecuted.
Blessed are you who suffer.
When these things begin to happen, rejoice, for your reward will be great in Heaven.
And Simon Peter said, “Do we have to write this down?”
And Phillip said, “Will this be on the test? Is it matching or fill in the blank?”
And John said, “Would you repeat that?”
And Andrew said, “John the Baptist’s disciples don’t have to learn this stuff.”
And Matthew said, “Huh?”
And Judas said, “What’s this got to do with real life?”
Then one of the Pharisees, an expert in the law, said, “I don’t see any of this in your
syllabus. Do you have a lesson plan? Is there a summary? Where is the student
guide? Will there be a follow-up assignment?”
Thomas, who had missed the sermon, came to Jesus privately and said, “Did we do
anything important today?”
And Jesus wept.


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